It’s amazing the sensation of liberty from thought. Earlier in the week I realized that I had stopped believing in believing, that is to stay, I no longer hold truths to be universal and ever-lasting. I see them more as a continuous thought process that manipulates and changes itself, staying the same in function and feeling but differentiating concepts and themes allowing for intellectual growth (and hopefully some sort of crazy prosperity that has nothing to do with money nor desire). It seems pretty ignorant to say that one believes one thing to be true and that that will never change. Isn’t that just another limitation on learning and development?
Last semester I was sitting in class bored out of my mind and I decided to take an average of the words the professor was blurting out. The average was 80 words per minute (and I only did a few tests so this number could be relatively high). I multiplied and found out that by the end of the semester we would have heard more than 165,000 words related to various lectures. To be even more absurd I tried to count the number of words that were required to read. Something to the effect of 100,000. I then counted the amount of words that had to be regurgitated via the mid-term, final exam, and two papers. The total came out to be 5000. That is to say, of the 265,000 words that we heard and were asked to read roughly 1.8% had to be summarized and put into paper.
This gave me a few ideas: one that I’m strange, two that in general teachers talk way too much, and three that if only 1.8% was actually going to get a grade it was better to read more. Or maybe to not read at all. It seems that instead of breaking information down in the form of thousands of words that we are asked rather to process them and put them back into concise phrases and thoughts. This would complete the process of whole to many and back to whole again and would disprove my assumption that education only exists by forcing knowledge and that knowledge only means destruction. In other words: I proved myself wrong. An idea changed in my head and I was able to build upon others. I think that’s what I mean when I say that I don’t believe in believing.
Sitting in Roman History class today it came to my attention (as it does everyday) that there is something really weird and threatening about history. Personally I don’t think it has to exist, but it is so complex. What is it? What’s its function? And the kicker: does it have to be what it is and function they way it does?
What is it?
A great question still to this day. I would be horribly misleading if I said it was the study of the past. I would also be wrong. It can’t be the study of just the past. As we have seen earlier the past is just a backward projection of the present, a concept of our invention of time used to….well, to help us understand. We have to create to understand, at least it seems that way.
So it can’t be just the study of the past but rather the study of time itself. And this makes a little more sense since time is a manifestation of our need to regulate our world by instilling the farce that time is inherent to nature and therefore dependent of us. This phrase in itself poses more and more doubts than it does reaffirmations of previous ideas. First and foremost being inherent to nature seems a little much, as we are a part of nature. Dependent of ourselves again invokes this ability to separate ourselves from our ideas which only continues the divide and conquer mentality. This time its ourselves from ourselves. I think that’s the basis of an identity crisis.
Identity, merely a name? Names don’t matter, but it seems that we are governed by them (or so thought Edward Gibbons a century or two ago). Identity, given to us by language or better yet given to us by our masters, tells us who we are, what we do, where we came from, and most likely where we are going to do. Four fundamental philosophical questions that also religion tries to answer. It seems like an easier way to contemplate the universe: give yourself a name and a religion. This, again, will make it much easier to go to school and go to work as these important and diabolical questions are answered with our beliefs that they are true. Again, I do not repeat to strengthen the point as much as I do to make more connections with it.
So we have this history that has something to do with time but not just the past. And it’s actually a little more constricted and closer I think to literature than to anything else, as history traditionally is the study of written text. Because if it isn’t written then it didn’t happen. But this pre-history exists, we don’t know how long since in this phase written language seems to be both our crutch and our cancer. We cannot live without with nor without it, both literally and figuratively.
Still in history class I pondered the idea of writing. If something isn’t written it is not true? Obviously not, as many things that we hold true don’t have to be written although it makes it a little easier to understand. Or maybe it makes it difficult to understand as we are limited with the infinite permutations of the language(s) that we are able to use. Something not written is not true? False. Something not written is not real? True. And now we fall back in the hole, the battle of truth versus reality, and in this sense it might be possible that they are not exactly the same concept albeit part of the universe. It seems that something that is written is both true and real, which have their oppositions (and strong ones at that), but by taking their negations we find that while reality takes the same stance truth becomes more evasive. It isn’t clear. Things don’t have to be written down to be true, but for some reason they have to be written down to be real?
At least this is the stance that I get when I listen to history lectures. If it ain’t on paper it didn’t happen. One of the main problems with this is that fact of human biases and ignorance, which are not crimes. Simply the truth that we don’t understand everything about everything (and if we did the universe would have to re-create itself, better yet we would have to create another universe in order to start the process again, as only desires can be channeled and used to coerce people into doing things that they might not want to do) makes it necessary to talk and broaden our own information. The problem with information? Rupert Murdock. It’s funny how most names comes with a squiggly line on word but for some reason microsoft knows exactly how it is spelled.
He owns about 60% of the world’s media comprising all of fox and its subsidiaries as well as hundreds of newspapers, internet sites, magazines and TV shows. The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal (two of the countries most popular papers) are owned by him.
We’re taught that history’s strength relies on its number and differentiation of sources, which means sources from different people at different times that help to get rid of the weaker thoughts and grab hold of those that prove to be more true. The problem with one person at the top of the ladder means that even if fox news, 100 newspapers, the internet, and magazines have similar articles it would be assumed that they are from different sources and therefore information is deemed reputable, becoming believed by us thus making it true and part of the world. This, however, is yet again another farce, the same idea is reading the History of Rome written by a Roman senator. What about the rest of the world? What does everyone else have to say? Why isn’t that as important?
I doubt we have come close to answering the first of the two questions which leads me to yet again another tangent. I think it’s more important to ask questions than to answer then. Asking takes thought, promise, the ability to think and want to mature a thought. Answering questions should in my opinion ask more, continuing and strengthening (or weakening) the subject at hand. The answers that simplify and dummy down these ideas, in actuality, serve for the better of our understanding, as most are inflated to exaggerated proportions. In other words: a long and complex story is never long nor complex, but by using language and other tools we can stretch a very simple and fundamental idea and make it seem important. We are then given these data through various ports that are deemed not only reputable but more reputable than wikipedia or the average person’s thought process. Finally, these data become fact, become, truth. But this truth is dead as it stands still. Nothing stands still, why should ideas?
The function of history, some could say that there is none dependent of our own need to understand. It is cited and used to better our understanding of ourselves, or at least we so think. For the most part it seems like a bunch of studies of people in power. Of governments, of changes of these governments and the reasons as to why these change. We begin to see that names and functions have some similarities even if they can be separated for a moment. What about the average person? Not represented, not as the bulk of the population.
Power, or force based on fear. Fear of what? Fear of nothing. This fear is used through military force, guns, death, defending the imaginary lines that politicians draw to continue to divide and conquer us.
A terrorist is someone that causes fear, using that to coerce people to do something, think a certain way, act a certain way. Power, therefore, is terrorism. And governments, being in power, are all terrorists working both against and with one another to continue domination. Masters keep masters in power as they look to better their attributes. It’s not that difficult to see which makes me wonder why we don’t see it. Too many toys to play with?
It has come to most of our attention that America in 2009 resembles more Germany or Italy before the 2nd world war than it does George Washington (an Iraqi soldier turned president). We all know what happened because history tells us. But what does it tell us and how to we know?
I feel this great detachment from things and the more I look in to history the more I realize of its convention. We don’t write down what we see, we write down what we think we see and become slaves to our own ideas. How to free ourselves?
Liberating our ideas by making them water. Always flowing, always changing, always the same. Moving, however. Our ideas need to start moving. This does not have to do with time nor space, at least it doesn’t have to. It more should deal with our own capacity to learn and understand. For some reason, however, we are told what those words mean and how to go about achieving those goals set before us.
I wanted to talk about Pi and the unit circle and the name and function of god but I guess I’ve written more than enough to get some heads turning. Thanks for all the responses so far. Hieroglyphics are awesome.
-Anthony
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Sirius and the 3 kings
“Hello, I am ept.”
“Hey, I’m inept.”
It’s time to get Sirius about the 3 kings and what better way than astronomy, my secret crush. It’s always been fascinating to me, looking up at the stars, trying to find myself, trying to find planet earth in the beautiful array of lights, dust, everything. Trying to look far to see close knowing that eventually my vision will come back to me, seeing myself as never before. Often times when walking home from school or a friend’s house late at night I stop and stare: lost. Lost in the universe, it’s center being as close and as far as we want it. We’re at the center of it just as much as it is at the center of us: we’re all made from stars.
We’re all made from the same thing whether it be a stramatolite or any other rock, the sea, a tree, or the air. Without the infinite number of particles and facets there wouldn’t be any. Maybe that’s what we mean about from one comes all, but then all should also come from one if I’m not mistaken. It’s that reverse relationship, that duality of being that actually, if we take its two ends, makes a perfect circle. Maybe that’s why all arguments eventually get that way, because we finally can understand the one from the many and the many from the one, how they are the same thing, how we are the same thing, and vice-versa.
I wanted to talk about Sirius and the 3 kings and try to understand this sense of being, this essence of oneness from multiple things, eventually becoming the one from the spare parts. I still don’t understand understanding, let alone the conscious and logical way that we break up the infinite particles of the universe and then give our lives to uphold them. Truth, god, the unknown, knowledge, astronomy, homosexuality, rape, fear and the like all stem from the same things, from our minds ability to be conditioned from the people and things around us. If anything our consciousness is a culmination of everything we have seen and heard as well as all those that we haven’t. But that’s where we’re wrong: because we have.
The Egyptians could see all the constellations, building the pyramids to assure the divine on earth would make it back to the stars. In modern times we call this heaven, the other world, the afterlife, etc. It’s the combination of all the things we think we don’t know, the things that we create by calling Chaos a different name, and then going to sleep at night because we feel more at ease.
They did this with no telescopes, no artificial light, nothing that we have today, and in some ways they did it better than us. It’s not because they were smarter or dumber, as the information is continuous and ever changing, never standing still. That is why it hasn’t left us, because the minute we separate the present from the past and the past from the future do we begin to not understand. And instead of putting the pieces back together, the ones that we have shredded from our experience, we turn to religion, to science, and we put our trust in them, the exploitation of ourselves by ourselves. It has to be this way: we have to survive and so we have to work, we have to have good and bad, light and dark, polar opposites because we choose to define them with each other, invoking an eternal relationship and stopping ourselves in our tracks. Can we define life without death? Light without dark? God without religion? The stars without science? Or should we just continue to lose ourselves in the abyss, the one that looks back at us, and tell ourselves that it has to be this way, that our jobs are our lives, and that as long as we can understand what we do and make up what we don’t, that we’ll be okay. Nothing really matters, right Farrokh?
I wanted to talk about Sirius and the 3 kings, as I just finished the Epic of Gilgamesh. I wanted to talk about astronomy, our capacity to create and what that means to us, how we understand our own understanding. Last week I attended a bible study with a group of friends from the program. My initial reaction was, “great time to piss off a lot of jesus freaks!” but I found out that we are all trying to understand, trying to find this truth, and so we become sheep and believe what we hear, what we read, and what we say, because it’s what we want to hear, it’s how we want our questions to be answered. If it’s not direct then we call it allegory, if it’s abstract then we say it’s not concrete, and if it’s too obvious then we call it over-simplified. When will it ever be enough?
Refreshments were provided, we sat in a circle (how ironic) and began discussing where we came from, what religion meant to us, what kind of backgrounds we were in, etc. I started, saying that I felt free the moment that I was able to mentally free myself from all the constraints that christianity had put on me throughout my life, or rather how I let my own ideas and thoughts cloud and deter other ideas. When I was younger I would tell myself what to think, how to think, and I did this because I saw people around me and wanted to be like them, think like them, be them in a literal and figurative sense. I never realized that in order to be the same we have to be different, as it’s the only way that we are to learn. I don’t find pleasure in sitting in a room where everyone agrees. Unfortunately that’s how business gets done.
I talked about our power to create, how we create god, a being, something we don’t understand, because we want to understand it. After creating him we create him creating us, completing the circle and having a place to start. We do this because we need a reason, any reason, any excuse to go to school and to work, not worrying about the answers to these questions that we put on ourselves. Something happens after we are done creating this god or gods that create us: we sever ourselves from the deal, we separate ourselves from our own ideas, and then we use them in order to get more people to do the same.
I believe in truth, knowledge, and love, which means that everybody believes in them, and if they don’t then I will try to convince them to, otherwise I will quit and move along to the next set of atoms that fall into my self-proclaimed predetermined path that I choose for myself (thanks to this “creator”). These ideas are not mine at this point, they are outside of me, in another world, another reality, and now I use them to function, to proclaim my values, make my decisions and think. I forget that I created them from what I saw, what I learned, and what I lived. It’s not catering to me to remember the beginning, just how it is not smart for a salesman to give honest advice. If he did that, he wouldn’t be a salesman anymore. Good, in this sense, revolves around manipulation, lying, and thievery, things that our society conditionally judges unless they aid in the well-being of the few that can make a difference.
To me, very simply, there are two types of people that walk the earth: those who have to work (the slaves) and those who don’t have to work (the masters). More than 99% of us are slaves, and less than 1% are masters. We don’t want to be masters, but we try to be masters. We do this by being the best slave that can be, because if we aren’t good slaves then we get punished. We accept being slaves because our masters proclaim life as sacred, and the decks that we were dealt were dealt for a reason, a reason that they give us. Our masters as well as us (I consider myself a slave) either have to work or be worked.
We, however, have another option: help each other. We can’t do this, however, in a capitalistic and fascist society where competition (wars) reins and where questioning of authority (thinking critically a.k.a a terrorist) is punishable by death. We have yet to realize this fully, as we are not allowed to do so given our current freedom stipulation.
I never understood how freedom could be defined, how it could be upheld, how it could exist in a society with laws. Doesn’t it defeat the purpose?
I wanted to talk about Sirius and the 3 kings, our understanding of ourselves, the continuum that changes with every instant. I wanted to tell you about my thoughts, my ideas that change with the time that I create.
We were talking first about separating ourselves from our ideas, something that we do when we say “god.” Without us, without writing, there is no god. He/she/it/them/blah cannot exist without its creator: us. We become the gods, and the gods become our slaves. We become the masters and we put the gods to work for us, we tell them what to say to us, how to treat us, and what to do. We make them think like we think: close-minded. We give them our power and then close the book, allowing nothing more to come out or go in. And then we wait. We wait until it’s time, until we read the book, wondering for so long where we come from, what we are doing here, and how we should live. What life is, where it came from, and who we should thank. We should thank ourselves for writing the book, but we can’t, since we have separated ourselves from our own thoughts and ideas. I still don’t know why we do this.
As we continued to talk in the bible study one colleague approached me, telling me that if everyone thought the way I did then the world would be a chaotic place. I took her statement as a reassurtment (a new word I just created at this moment) of my argument. I responded saying that my normal, although it might be someone else’s strange, is no more right or wrong than the next person’s, and it is this classification and hierarchy that lead us to believe that we exist in a stagnant state where nothing moves. This couldn’t be further from the truth that we create with our own minds. It doesn’t make the concept any less real albeit we still believe in it.
I lost myself that night, both in the stars and in my own thoughts, which if you have been reading so far would realize are the same thing. The minute we bring measure, the minute we start to break things down, to force upon our slaves knowledge, truth, understanding, and love, the minute they become destroyed by us. It is now us to make them up, to start from nothing, to pull thoughts from thin air?
No, because we will always be dependent on each other, just like the flower is dependent upon our carbon dioxide as we are its oxygen. We all work together; this all does not encompass only human beings, another secular definition that we create, thus making our identities.
I finished One, No One, One Hundred Thousand, and can’t remember if I told you. Names. Names. It’s our names that begin the secularization and the individualization of our universe. We then create our identities, giving ourselves numbers, attributes, things that we do, things that we think, dark and light, the same that the Egyptians did when they saw the sun set and then resurrect the next day.
I wanted to talk about Sirius and the 3 kings, how we are all connected and our oblivious ability to forget. Forgetting how to learn, how to unlearn, how to be. All of these continuous forces that we once again establish within ourselves, only next externalizing them.
I was walking home from my internship and I wanted to know about love. It wasn’t written down before the 11th century, and I didn’t know if that meant that it had existed before that or not. I first would say yes, of course it did, just like the moon is still there even when it is covered, or the sun is still there even if it is light. If we cannot see it, does it make it unreal? Is it not there anymore? How can we be sure?
I realized that we still are trying to understand ourselves and so we break things down, we change this one into an infinite number of pieces and then give them certain characteristics in which we ourselves understand because we tell ourselves that we understand.
Does love need a name? I don’t think it does. A powerful feeling that cannot escape language even though by manipulating language we still try to define it. Something inside of us, at the same time outside, as far as the stars, as close as our hearts, and we don’t know what to do with it. Can we leave it alone and still let it be real, can we release the hold we have on our slaves, setting them free and at the same time ourselves?
We need to liberate ourselves from our own preconceived notions, as our reality lies in everything that we are afraid to question.
Sirius lies in the same night sky that loses us. On December 22 of every year it aligns itself with Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka, the 3 kings, with the southern cross being able to be seen as well. They all point to where the sun is going to rise, and at this time during the year, the winter equinox, the sun reaches the most southern point in the night sky (in the western hemisphere where most land is located). It does something strange for the next 3 days: it stays put. On the morning of December 25 is begins to rise again, thus resurrecting and starting a new life.
There are 12 months of the year, 12 signs of the zodiac, each categorized in 4 seasons. We use this knowledge to understand, to create, and then to separate ourselves. All we need to do is realize this, how it has happened and will continue to happen only since it is happening. The present moment is where everything exists, both the past and the future and everything that we throw in its way.
The Egyptians called the son (sun) of god Horus, born of the virgin on December 25, he then suffered died and was buried on the cross, only to be resurrected in 3 days. Upon his birth he was visited by 3 kings. His resurrection wasn’t celebrated however until the spring equinox, when the light on the northern hemisphere finally defeats the darkness, thus easter is born. Horus: another name for the sun, the giver of life, of all that is seen and unseen.
Attis of Phrygia was born of the virgin on December 25. He was named the savior, the messiah, the king of kings, the god of gods, just like Horus before him. At the age of 30 he began his ministry, suffered, died, and was buried on the cross. He resurrected in 3 days.
Dionysis, Krishna, Mithra, Zoroaster, and many others were born of the virgin on December 25. They were saviors of their lands, aimed at saving the population from sin and evil, from the darkness. They began their ministry at the age of 30, and subsequently also died on the cross, and in 3 days resurrected.
Jesus Christ was also born on December 25 of the virgin mary. He had 12 disciples (as the sun as 12 months or signs of the zodiac), at his birth was a star in the east (Sirius) and 3 kings visited his manger. He started his ministry at age 30, and then suffered and died on the cross, only to be resurrected in 3 days, saving humanity and all those who believed in him.
We aren’t different from each other, nor are we different from nature, from the stars, and from the unknown. We lose ourselves in it maybe to answer the questions that we want to be answered. We are the slaves and the masters of ourselves, and it’s time we set one another free.
-Anthony
“Hey, I’m inept.”
It’s time to get Sirius about the 3 kings and what better way than astronomy, my secret crush. It’s always been fascinating to me, looking up at the stars, trying to find myself, trying to find planet earth in the beautiful array of lights, dust, everything. Trying to look far to see close knowing that eventually my vision will come back to me, seeing myself as never before. Often times when walking home from school or a friend’s house late at night I stop and stare: lost. Lost in the universe, it’s center being as close and as far as we want it. We’re at the center of it just as much as it is at the center of us: we’re all made from stars.
We’re all made from the same thing whether it be a stramatolite or any other rock, the sea, a tree, or the air. Without the infinite number of particles and facets there wouldn’t be any. Maybe that’s what we mean about from one comes all, but then all should also come from one if I’m not mistaken. It’s that reverse relationship, that duality of being that actually, if we take its two ends, makes a perfect circle. Maybe that’s why all arguments eventually get that way, because we finally can understand the one from the many and the many from the one, how they are the same thing, how we are the same thing, and vice-versa.
I wanted to talk about Sirius and the 3 kings and try to understand this sense of being, this essence of oneness from multiple things, eventually becoming the one from the spare parts. I still don’t understand understanding, let alone the conscious and logical way that we break up the infinite particles of the universe and then give our lives to uphold them. Truth, god, the unknown, knowledge, astronomy, homosexuality, rape, fear and the like all stem from the same things, from our minds ability to be conditioned from the people and things around us. If anything our consciousness is a culmination of everything we have seen and heard as well as all those that we haven’t. But that’s where we’re wrong: because we have.
The Egyptians could see all the constellations, building the pyramids to assure the divine on earth would make it back to the stars. In modern times we call this heaven, the other world, the afterlife, etc. It’s the combination of all the things we think we don’t know, the things that we create by calling Chaos a different name, and then going to sleep at night because we feel more at ease.
They did this with no telescopes, no artificial light, nothing that we have today, and in some ways they did it better than us. It’s not because they were smarter or dumber, as the information is continuous and ever changing, never standing still. That is why it hasn’t left us, because the minute we separate the present from the past and the past from the future do we begin to not understand. And instead of putting the pieces back together, the ones that we have shredded from our experience, we turn to religion, to science, and we put our trust in them, the exploitation of ourselves by ourselves. It has to be this way: we have to survive and so we have to work, we have to have good and bad, light and dark, polar opposites because we choose to define them with each other, invoking an eternal relationship and stopping ourselves in our tracks. Can we define life without death? Light without dark? God without religion? The stars without science? Or should we just continue to lose ourselves in the abyss, the one that looks back at us, and tell ourselves that it has to be this way, that our jobs are our lives, and that as long as we can understand what we do and make up what we don’t, that we’ll be okay. Nothing really matters, right Farrokh?
I wanted to talk about Sirius and the 3 kings, as I just finished the Epic of Gilgamesh. I wanted to talk about astronomy, our capacity to create and what that means to us, how we understand our own understanding. Last week I attended a bible study with a group of friends from the program. My initial reaction was, “great time to piss off a lot of jesus freaks!” but I found out that we are all trying to understand, trying to find this truth, and so we become sheep and believe what we hear, what we read, and what we say, because it’s what we want to hear, it’s how we want our questions to be answered. If it’s not direct then we call it allegory, if it’s abstract then we say it’s not concrete, and if it’s too obvious then we call it over-simplified. When will it ever be enough?
Refreshments were provided, we sat in a circle (how ironic) and began discussing where we came from, what religion meant to us, what kind of backgrounds we were in, etc. I started, saying that I felt free the moment that I was able to mentally free myself from all the constraints that christianity had put on me throughout my life, or rather how I let my own ideas and thoughts cloud and deter other ideas. When I was younger I would tell myself what to think, how to think, and I did this because I saw people around me and wanted to be like them, think like them, be them in a literal and figurative sense. I never realized that in order to be the same we have to be different, as it’s the only way that we are to learn. I don’t find pleasure in sitting in a room where everyone agrees. Unfortunately that’s how business gets done.
I talked about our power to create, how we create god, a being, something we don’t understand, because we want to understand it. After creating him we create him creating us, completing the circle and having a place to start. We do this because we need a reason, any reason, any excuse to go to school and to work, not worrying about the answers to these questions that we put on ourselves. Something happens after we are done creating this god or gods that create us: we sever ourselves from the deal, we separate ourselves from our own ideas, and then we use them in order to get more people to do the same.
I believe in truth, knowledge, and love, which means that everybody believes in them, and if they don’t then I will try to convince them to, otherwise I will quit and move along to the next set of atoms that fall into my self-proclaimed predetermined path that I choose for myself (thanks to this “creator”). These ideas are not mine at this point, they are outside of me, in another world, another reality, and now I use them to function, to proclaim my values, make my decisions and think. I forget that I created them from what I saw, what I learned, and what I lived. It’s not catering to me to remember the beginning, just how it is not smart for a salesman to give honest advice. If he did that, he wouldn’t be a salesman anymore. Good, in this sense, revolves around manipulation, lying, and thievery, things that our society conditionally judges unless they aid in the well-being of the few that can make a difference.
To me, very simply, there are two types of people that walk the earth: those who have to work (the slaves) and those who don’t have to work (the masters). More than 99% of us are slaves, and less than 1% are masters. We don’t want to be masters, but we try to be masters. We do this by being the best slave that can be, because if we aren’t good slaves then we get punished. We accept being slaves because our masters proclaim life as sacred, and the decks that we were dealt were dealt for a reason, a reason that they give us. Our masters as well as us (I consider myself a slave) either have to work or be worked.
We, however, have another option: help each other. We can’t do this, however, in a capitalistic and fascist society where competition (wars) reins and where questioning of authority (thinking critically a.k.a a terrorist) is punishable by death. We have yet to realize this fully, as we are not allowed to do so given our current freedom stipulation.
I never understood how freedom could be defined, how it could be upheld, how it could exist in a society with laws. Doesn’t it defeat the purpose?
I wanted to talk about Sirius and the 3 kings, our understanding of ourselves, the continuum that changes with every instant. I wanted to tell you about my thoughts, my ideas that change with the time that I create.
We were talking first about separating ourselves from our ideas, something that we do when we say “god.” Without us, without writing, there is no god. He/she/it/them/blah cannot exist without its creator: us. We become the gods, and the gods become our slaves. We become the masters and we put the gods to work for us, we tell them what to say to us, how to treat us, and what to do. We make them think like we think: close-minded. We give them our power and then close the book, allowing nothing more to come out or go in. And then we wait. We wait until it’s time, until we read the book, wondering for so long where we come from, what we are doing here, and how we should live. What life is, where it came from, and who we should thank. We should thank ourselves for writing the book, but we can’t, since we have separated ourselves from our own thoughts and ideas. I still don’t know why we do this.
As we continued to talk in the bible study one colleague approached me, telling me that if everyone thought the way I did then the world would be a chaotic place. I took her statement as a reassurtment (a new word I just created at this moment) of my argument. I responded saying that my normal, although it might be someone else’s strange, is no more right or wrong than the next person’s, and it is this classification and hierarchy that lead us to believe that we exist in a stagnant state where nothing moves. This couldn’t be further from the truth that we create with our own minds. It doesn’t make the concept any less real albeit we still believe in it.
I lost myself that night, both in the stars and in my own thoughts, which if you have been reading so far would realize are the same thing. The minute we bring measure, the minute we start to break things down, to force upon our slaves knowledge, truth, understanding, and love, the minute they become destroyed by us. It is now us to make them up, to start from nothing, to pull thoughts from thin air?
No, because we will always be dependent on each other, just like the flower is dependent upon our carbon dioxide as we are its oxygen. We all work together; this all does not encompass only human beings, another secular definition that we create, thus making our identities.
I finished One, No One, One Hundred Thousand, and can’t remember if I told you. Names. Names. It’s our names that begin the secularization and the individualization of our universe. We then create our identities, giving ourselves numbers, attributes, things that we do, things that we think, dark and light, the same that the Egyptians did when they saw the sun set and then resurrect the next day.
I wanted to talk about Sirius and the 3 kings, how we are all connected and our oblivious ability to forget. Forgetting how to learn, how to unlearn, how to be. All of these continuous forces that we once again establish within ourselves, only next externalizing them.
I was walking home from my internship and I wanted to know about love. It wasn’t written down before the 11th century, and I didn’t know if that meant that it had existed before that or not. I first would say yes, of course it did, just like the moon is still there even when it is covered, or the sun is still there even if it is light. If we cannot see it, does it make it unreal? Is it not there anymore? How can we be sure?
I realized that we still are trying to understand ourselves and so we break things down, we change this one into an infinite number of pieces and then give them certain characteristics in which we ourselves understand because we tell ourselves that we understand.
Does love need a name? I don’t think it does. A powerful feeling that cannot escape language even though by manipulating language we still try to define it. Something inside of us, at the same time outside, as far as the stars, as close as our hearts, and we don’t know what to do with it. Can we leave it alone and still let it be real, can we release the hold we have on our slaves, setting them free and at the same time ourselves?
We need to liberate ourselves from our own preconceived notions, as our reality lies in everything that we are afraid to question.
Sirius lies in the same night sky that loses us. On December 22 of every year it aligns itself with Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka, the 3 kings, with the southern cross being able to be seen as well. They all point to where the sun is going to rise, and at this time during the year, the winter equinox, the sun reaches the most southern point in the night sky (in the western hemisphere where most land is located). It does something strange for the next 3 days: it stays put. On the morning of December 25 is begins to rise again, thus resurrecting and starting a new life.
There are 12 months of the year, 12 signs of the zodiac, each categorized in 4 seasons. We use this knowledge to understand, to create, and then to separate ourselves. All we need to do is realize this, how it has happened and will continue to happen only since it is happening. The present moment is where everything exists, both the past and the future and everything that we throw in its way.
The Egyptians called the son (sun) of god Horus, born of the virgin on December 25, he then suffered died and was buried on the cross, only to be resurrected in 3 days. Upon his birth he was visited by 3 kings. His resurrection wasn’t celebrated however until the spring equinox, when the light on the northern hemisphere finally defeats the darkness, thus easter is born. Horus: another name for the sun, the giver of life, of all that is seen and unseen.
Attis of Phrygia was born of the virgin on December 25. He was named the savior, the messiah, the king of kings, the god of gods, just like Horus before him. At the age of 30 he began his ministry, suffered, died, and was buried on the cross. He resurrected in 3 days.
Dionysis, Krishna, Mithra, Zoroaster, and many others were born of the virgin on December 25. They were saviors of their lands, aimed at saving the population from sin and evil, from the darkness. They began their ministry at the age of 30, and subsequently also died on the cross, and in 3 days resurrected.
Jesus Christ was also born on December 25 of the virgin mary. He had 12 disciples (as the sun as 12 months or signs of the zodiac), at his birth was a star in the east (Sirius) and 3 kings visited his manger. He started his ministry at age 30, and then suffered and died on the cross, only to be resurrected in 3 days, saving humanity and all those who believed in him.
We aren’t different from each other, nor are we different from nature, from the stars, and from the unknown. We lose ourselves in it maybe to answer the questions that we want to be answered. We are the slaves and the masters of ourselves, and it’s time we set one another free.
-Anthony
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